I just overheard someone say that women can be good wives, good mothers, and good doctors – but not at the same time. In this accomplished woman doctor’s opinion, women can’t do all three things without causing suffering, frustration, and resentment. This may all be true. But these kinds of sentiments don’t help any of us future women doctors, who are partners, moms, or hopeful moms. I don’t think the answer is that women doctors should remain single, because the challenges of medicine are only made easier by the love and comfort of a knowing partner. And I don’t think that women doctors should choose to remain childless, because we have wonderful hearts and by example, teach our children the role of the healer, in all its forms. And obviously we can’t let men do all the doctoring. Still, many many women doctors will tell you that trying to be good in all these ways is making them feel really bad. Can we listen to their stories and learn to make it easier for ourselves, so that we women doctors can choose relationship, choose love, and know that we will be rewarded?